Marrying Into The Royal Family Is No Fairytale Ending, Meghan Markle Has Learned The Hard Way

Published on May 3, 2023
It’s no secret that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, who are now known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have had an uphill journey ever since they announced that they were getting married. From questions about her from the Royal Family, to their leaving royal duties behind, and through having children, their lives together have been tinged with drama, scrutiny, and difficulty. While many young girls dream of marrying a prince, it seems like Markle has learned that it doesn’t guarantee a fairytale ending.

Different Backgrounds

From the start, people were quick to point out their many differences. While Harry grew up as a member of the British Royal Family, Meghan had a humble childhood in Los Angeles, where she was raised by her single mother, Doria Ragland. He was a prince, she was an actress, but love brought them together. But is love enough to conquer all of the future struggles?

Different Backgrounds (Chris Jackson:Getty Images)

Different Backgrounds (Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

Breaking Protocol

It seems like perhaps while at the 2019 Trooping the Colour event, Markle accidentally broke protocol by speaking to her husband during the ceremony. While it is not officially confirmed, many lip reading experts believe that he then told her to “turn around,” as his way to tell her to stop talking in the middle of the ceremony.

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Breaking Protocol (Peter Dejong:AP)

Breaking Protocol (Peter Dejong/AP)

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Their Son’s Future

A lot of people raised their eyebrows when Queen Elizabeth and then-Prince Philip did not attend the christening of Harry and Meghan’s newborn son Archie. While many could interpret this as a snub, it’s important to note that the Queen also did not attend Prince Louis’, song of William and Kate, christening the year before. So how will they raise their half British-half American son?

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Their Son's Future (Chris Allerton/SussexRoyal/PA Images)

Their Son’s Future (Chris Allerton/SussexRoyal/PA Images)

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She’s Given Up A Lot

Since Markle didn’t come from royalty, when she decided to marry into the British Royal Family, she did have to make a lot of sacrifices when it came ot her personal life. For one, she retired from acting and also shut down her lifestyle blog, called The Tig, which she had been running for a few years. She also deleted her personal social media accounts.

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She's Given Up A Lot (Getty Images)

She’s Given Up A Lot (Getty Images)

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His Ex Drops In

Harry had what has been called a “turbulent” relationship with his ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy. They met in 2004 and had a very on and off relationship until 2010. They officially were broken up by 2011. In 2019, Davy showed up in London around the time of the Trooping the Colour ceremony. While many rumors swirled around, the two remained just friends and she later married hotelier Sam Cutmore-Scott.

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His Ex Drops In (Davis Davies:PA Wire)

His Ex Drops In (Davis Davies/PA Wire)

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Their Last Call

The two remained close and even shared a final phone call right before Harry married Meghan. According to a source that spoke to royal author Katie Nicholl, the two were quite emotional and spoke very directly about how Harry had moved on. Davy attended the royal wedding to show her support for Harry and Meghan.

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Their Last Call (AFP:Getty Images)

Their Last Call (AFP/Getty Images)

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Marrying Into The Family

As the expression goes, when you marry someone, you are also marrying their family, so take a good look before you walk down the aisle! When Meghan married Harry, she was already in a tough spot with his family, and they clashed from early on. There were also rumored tiffs between Meghan and her sister in law Kate, but none have been officially confirmed, as they Royal Family likes to keep mum about personal issues.

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Marrying Into The Family (Samir Hussein:WireImage)

Marrying Into The Family (Samir Hussein/WireImage)

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Changing Path

As mentioned, Meghan had to rearrange many aspects of her life in order to be accepted into the fold of Royal life. Of course, she’s not the only one who had to go through this. Kate Middleton worked as a fashion buyer for clothing chan Jigsaw and also worked at her family’s company before she married Prince William and retired into royal duties.

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Changing Path (Getty Images)

Changing Path (Getty Images)

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Things Changed

Actress Rebel Wilson had some tough words to share about the couple. She said that when she met the couple in Santa Barbara, she shared: “We went up to Santa Barbara, met Harry, [he] could not have been nicer […] But then Meghan was not as cool. She wasn’t as naturally warm. But maybe, I don’t know, my mom being Australian just asked her all these like, slightly rude questions […] like, ‘where are your kids?’ and things like that. I was like, ‘Mom don’t ask her that!'”

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Things Changed (Lee Morgan:Duke And Duchess Of Sussex)

Things Changed (Lee Morgan/Duke And Duchess Of Sussex)

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The Criticism

Before marrying Prince Harry, Meghan worked on popular TV show Suits, on which she played the role of Rachel Zane. This echoes actress Sophie Rhys-Jones, an actress who left her career in order to marry Prince Edward over twenty years before Harry and Meghan. It has been reported that Prince Philip told his grandson: “One steps out with actresses, one doesn’t marry them.” Well, he made his views clear all right.

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The Criticism (Getty Images)

The Criticism (Getty Images)

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Different Attitudes Towards Royalty?

Perhaps the couple didn’t think too much about just how different their upbringings were, resulting in contrasting attitudes towards royal duties. Of course, Harry is thought to be a more rebellious member of the royal family, he still understands what his duties call for. Meghan, who grew up in the States, really has no idea the weight of some seemingly mundane gestures and tasks. Maybe this difference helped create the friction with his family.

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Different Attitudes Towards Royalty? (Mike Marsland:WireImage)

Different Attitudes Towards Royalty? (Mike Marsland/WireImage)

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A Repeat Of History?

There’s a history of women who were not royal marrying into the British royal family, and you don’t have to look too far for the perfect example: Harry’s mother, Princess Diana. She married Prince Charles and it was no secret that she did not enjoy her life as a royal and she developed an eating disorder during this time. Actress Grace Kelly also married into a royal family, who reportedly were unkind to her as well.

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A Repeat Of History? (Getty Images)

A Repeat Of History? (Getty Images)

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Their Friendships

While spending time in England in order to deal with a lawsuit against a tabloid, Harry admitted that he had cut off some friends due to “suspicion and paranoia [of] those close to him [with] unlawful articles.” He accused Associated Newspapers of hacking into his personal phone calls. Other celebrities that accused the newspapers include Elton John, Liz Hurley, and Sadie Frost.

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Their Friendships (Getty Images)

Their Friendships (Getty Images)

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Doing Things Her Way

It’s well known that the Royal Family have to adhere to strict rules, and that includes what is appropriate to wear while out in public. Although many royal experts have raised an eyebrow at this, Markle has worn sleeveless dresses while out. She has already given up so much of her personal life, so she has chosen to maintain her personal style even within the new rules of royal life.

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Doing Things Her Way (Tim Rooke Pool:Getty Images)

Doing Things Her Way (Tim Rooke /Pool/Getty Images)

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Set Up To Fail?

Of course, marrying into the Royal Family is no easy task no matter who you are. As PR expert Nick Ede shared, “This is somebody who has just entered the Royal Family, who is working quadruply as hard as she was learning scripts for Suits. She has actually put herself in the position where it’s not an easy life.” Perhaps there was no way for her to truly shine in this new role?

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Set Up To Fail? (Pool:Samir Hussein:WireImage)

Set Up To Fail? (Pool/Samir Hussein/WireImage)

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Dealing With A Lot Of Hate

It’s also no secret that Meghan, like most other members of the Royal Family, has had to deal with a lot of negative coverage in tabloids and gossip news publications. She has also had to deal with a fair share of negativity and hatred on social media sites. Whatever your opinion of someone and their choices, we can all agree that sending vitriol to anyone is simply not okay.

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Dealing With A Lot Of Hate (Chris Jackson:WPA Pool:Getty Images)

Dealing With A Lot Of Hate (Chris Jackson/WPA Pool/Getty Images)

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Tension Between Brothers

In addition to the intense scrutiny Harry and Meghan faced from the public and tabloids, Harry also had to deal with the fact that there were now tensions rising between him and his brother, who he had always been very close with. This was particularly evident went Harry chose to part ways with The Royal Foundation, which he co-founded with William.

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Tension Between Brothers (Mark Kerrison:In Pictures Via Getty Images)

Tension Between Brothers (Mark Kerrison/In Pictures via Getty Images)

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Perhaps A Clash of Cultures

It could be that someone from a humble background and a member of the British royal family simply cannot combine their lives together seamlessly and without and struggles. Once Brits found out that one of their beloved princes was dating an American, all bets were off and they made their voices heard. Anyone who is not a Brit has to work extra hard to get the seal of approval, and Meghan had to work through a lot of hate.

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Perhaps A Clash Of Cultures (Max Mumby:Indigo:Getty Images)

Perhaps A Clash of Cultures (Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images)

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Wanted To Marry For Fame?

Of course, many people like to say that Meghan wanted to marry Harry because of the fact that he is so famous and that it would immediately give her prestige. The fact remains that ever since she began dating Harry, she has become more well known, but the majority of the coverage about her has been very negative. If she didn’t truly love him, we doubt that this kind of level of backlash would be worth it.

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Wanted To Marry For Fame? (Ben Stansall:WPA Pool:Getty Images)

Wanted To Marry For Fame? (Ben Stansall/WPA Pool/Getty Images)

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Disagreements About Jewels

Still, loving one another doesn’t necessarily translate to love between all family members involved. For example, royal commentator Gavin Gray alleged that: “There was this row where Meghan wanted this particular necklace, Harry said ‘Meghan gets what Meghan wants. The Queen turned around and said ‘oh, no, she doesn’t.'” We’ll never know what really happened, but it’s clear that there is definitely tension there.

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Disagreements About Jewels (James Whatling)

Disagreements About Jewels (James Whatling)

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The In-Laws

On the other side of the family, Prince Harry seems to get along with his mother in law, Doria Ragland, quite well. They all live near one another in California, and she spends a lot of time with her grandchildren, Archie and Lilibet. However, Meghan doesn’t have a good relationship with her father or her half-sister, both of which have publicly spoken negatively about her.

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The In Laws (Samir Hussein:WireImage:Getty Images)

The In-Laws (Samir Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images)

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Breaking Some Rules

While there seems to be a lot of tension between Meghan and the Royal Family, Queen Elizabeth II did show some signs of accepting her and even bent some rules for her. For one, she agreed to let Harry marry Meghan despite her being divorced, which was a first for the royal family. She also let her come to the family Christmas party even though they weren’t yet married, another break with tradition.

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Breaking Some Rules (Mark Cuthbert:Getty Images)

Breaking Some Rules (Mark Cuthbert/Getty Images)

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Their Struggles Together

The pair released the documentary Harry and Meghan: An African Journey, in which they spoke out about the struggles of maintaining royal duties and balancing them with being married. The documentary came out in Australia, Africa, and Europe. Meghan also discussed her mental health throughout the time she’s spent in the royal world.

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Their Struggles Together (Toby Melville/Reuters)

Their Struggles Together (Toby Melville/Reuters)

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Not Feeling Okay

In one scene of the documentary that his since been oft-discussed, Markle is asked about how she’s been feeling since joining the Royal Family, getting married, and becoming a mother. Her response was quite resonant, she said: “As a woman, it’s a lot. Thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m OK. But it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.”

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Not Feeling Okay (Patrick Van Katwijk:Getty Images)

Not Feeling Okay (Patrick Van Katwijk/Getty Images)

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Rejecting The Famed Footballer

A lot of people were interested in hearing about how football player Ashley Cole was interested in Meghan before she began dating Harry. In fact, she said that: “He follows me and he keeps trying to talk to me on Twitter. He’s trying really hard,” to which his brother Matty said: “It’s nonsense, completely made up. He definitely wouldn’t have to beg Meghan Markle for a date. She’s not the kind of girl he goes for anyway, and he’s never fancied her.”

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Rejecting The Famed Footballer (Adrian Dennis:Getty Images)

Rejecting The Famed Footballer (Adrian Dennis/Getty Images)

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Felt Destroyed By Tabloids

Meghan has admitted that when it comes to the coverage about her relationship with Harry and his family, she felt like the tabloids were out to get her and were trying to “destroy” her. It really can’t be easy to have every single move of your scrutinized by the public.

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Felt Destroyed By Tabloids (Karwai Tang:WireImage)

Felt Destroyed By Tabloids (Karwai Tang/WireImage)

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Lizzie Cundy’s Take

TV presenter Lizzie Cundy seems to be full of opinions when it comes to Markle, though the two used to be friends. In fact, she has called Meghan many names, including saying that she has been “manipulating” since she has joined the royal family, and that she has since “seen a different side” of Meghan since she married Harry.

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Lizzie Cundy's Take (Dave Benett:WireImage)

Lizzie Cundy’s Take (Dave Benett/WireImage)

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Financial Blues

A lot of people have criticized Harry and Meghan for what has been described as excessive spending since they got married. Perhaps this is part of the reason when they broke ties with the royal family, they went all in on content deals. They have shared that they need to spend an exorbitant amount of money on security, since it is not provided for them anymore since leaving their royal duties.

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Financial Blues (Patrick Van Katwijk:Getty Images)

Financial Blues (Patrick Van Katwijk/Getty Images)

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Her Podcast

In August 2022, Markle began her podcast, called Archetypes. On the show, she speaks to celebrities, experts, and historians in order to dive deeper into stereotypes that are attached to and used against women in particular. The podcast is produced by Archewell Audio, Gimlet Media, and Spotify.

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Their Podcast (Dominic Lipinski:Getty Images)

Her Podcast (Dominic Lipinski/Getty Images)

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The Queen’s Disappointment

While the Queen had shown a level of support to the couple by bending rules for them, it has been reported that she was disappointed with Harry and Meghan’s antics, particularly the fact that they seemed to be airing the family’s dirty laundry for the whole world to know, and in particular because they were monetizing these family issues through Netflix shows, podcasts, and book deals.

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The Queen's Disappointment (John Stillwell:Pool Photo Via AP)

The Queen’s Disappointment (John Stillwell/Pool Photo via AP)

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Christmas Away

While the Royal Family traditionally celebrates Christmas together, Harry broke with that tradition by celebrating the holiday in Canada with his wife and their baby Archie. They spent the weeks surrounding the holiday with her mother Doria as well. The Queen was said to be disappointed with this arrangement.

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Christmas Away (Duke And Duchess Of Sussex:Doria Ragland)

Christmas Away (Duke and Duchess of Sussex/Doria Ragland)

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Big Decision

Of course, getting married is no simple life choice, and with the many changes and difficulties that were brought on by Meghan and Harry’s marriage, the two went on to decide to step away from their royal duties altogether. They announced this in an Instagram post that read: “After many months of reflection and internal discussions, we have chosen to make a transition this year in starting to carve out a progressive new role within this institution.”

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Big Decision (Karwai Tang:WireImage)

Big Decision (Karwai Tang/WireImage)

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Stepping Away

They elaborated by saying that “they intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent.” Of course, it seems like the two made the decision together, but some have speculated on how much Harry had to be convinced to leave his family and the world he grew up in behind.

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Stepping Away (Seth Wenig:Associated Press)

Stepping Away (Seth Wenig/Associated Press)

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Spending Time In USA

As they decided to step away from their royal duties, that meant that they were no longer anchored to England, allowing them to make the decision to move to the United States. Many Brits did not take kindly to the American actress “taking away” their beloved prince, but he is a grown man who can make his own decisions. It is believed that they moved to Los Angeles in order to live closer to Doria.

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Spending Time In USA (Samir Hussein:Pool:Getty Images)

Spending Time In USA (Samir Hussein/Pool/Getty Images)

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The Hurt Family

It’s natural that Harry’s family would feel hurt by the couple’s decision with many who were said to be disappointed and confused. It is even believed that the one who felt the most hurt from this move was the Queen herself, with some speculating that she alluded to this during her Christmas speech.

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The Hurt Family (@kensingtonroyal:Twitter)

The Hurt Family (@kensingtonroyal/Twitter)

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Took Their Son Away

Another huge impact of moving to the United States is the fact that their children are far away from Harry’s side of the family. The Royal Family is used to having all family members nearby, including the young members of the family. Harry and Meghan wanted their kids to have a “normal” and non-royal childhood and upbringing. We wonder if their kids will be grateful for that later on in life.

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Took Their Son Away (Samir Hussein:Pool:Getty Images)

Took Their Son Away (Samir Hussein/Pool/Getty Images)

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Taking Legal Action

Markle decided to face the media head on, even accusing Mail on Sunday of publishing a letter to her father Thomas Markle, which was private. This could be part of the reason why the couple decided to step away from their royal duties as well.

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Taking Legal Action (Angela Weiss:AFP:Getty Images)

Taking Legal Action (Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images)

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Uncomfortable Reunions

Of course, after such a bombshell announcement, it makes sense that any time they will be faced with Harry’s family, it’s bound to be awkward. They essentially told the world that they are distancing themselves from the royal world, which includes his family members.

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Uncomfortable Reunions (Anwar Hussein:WireImage:Getty Images)

Uncomfortable Reunions (Anwar Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images)

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The Queen’s Response

According to ABC contributor Omid Scoobie, Queen Elizabeth II spoke directly with Harry and Meghan following their announcement. In that discussion, she let them know that their decision would mean that she would no longer be able to pay for security for them, which has been estimated to cost around $25 million.

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The Queen's Response (Samir Hussein:Getty Images)

The Queen’s Response (Samir Hussein/Getty Images)

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Her First Husband

Of course, many Brits took issue with the fact that Markle had been married before and that she is a divorcee. In 20011, she married Trevor Engelson, a film producer, after they began dating in 2004. However, they separated in June 2013 and by February 2014, were officially divorced.

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Her First Husband (Patrick McMullan:Getty Images)

Her First Husband (Patrick McMullan/Getty Images)

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